Writing is my one talent.

I've tried other things, like lacrosse and cooking--I wasn't great. I'm OK at jokes. I'm good at going out to dinner, especially ordering more than I can eat. But the one thing I do best is make stories for whatever it is people need stories about.

I've written stories about lots of strange things: Fecal transplants. An ice skating rink that hovers over one of NYC's most renowned parks. Dress code tips for a Star Wars-themed wedding (hint: don't go to the Star Wars-themed wedding). I’ve even written entire FAQ pages, and the little error messages that pop up in a text field when you forget to fill it out. Those can actually be a good time if you try hard enough.

Now let me write a story for you.